Wednesday, December 29, 2010
After a bad night, I awoke on the couch to a better morning. Anger had fled, in it's place were insecurity & sadness, but that is getting fought as well. I imagine a small me in boxing attire inside my self sparring the negative things in my head. (I do have a vivid imagination & if only I could express my vision I think I could actually make money off my art - hah.) So today I am posting on the good for 2 reasons. Because I need to share the good as well as the bad - actually more so & I need to remind myself.
After many years fighting the idea of therapy, I have now become a major advocate of it. I do know there are factors with it as well. First off, you need a therapist you can click with. Sometimes people rub you the wrong way & it's no ones fault, just a personality clash. In order for therapy to be beneficial you should be able to look forward to your sessions as a respite & a good thing. It is lovely to have someone you can talk to that you can say anything. You don't have to worry you are going to hurt someones feelings or make them mad or what you said would come back & bite you in the ass. You can just get it all off your chest & then they can help you look for ways to have a healthy attitude, & behavior. The therapist gives you tools to help yourself. Granted most of the time it seems very silly, but you know what? It works, & that is what counts. Marriage counseling on the other hand is helpful in it's way as it gives you a person to talk to, & kind of through, to express yourself with a buffer to help keep from saying things the wrong way or going off on a tangent. They are there as a mediator & somewhat as an interpreter. One thing I have learned is that much of the time, though Rob & I both speak english, we really don't understand each other. But the key to a healthy & happy relationship is communication, so we have to learn each others language. And NOT rely on the other person reading your mind, no matter how long you have been together. One last bit, & I know it should be first, is God & my walk with him. I have to be self-centered in my walk. What I mean is that I need to not worry about the others in the family. I need to go to church, pray & read biblical centered things in order to be happy & not worry about making anyone else do anything. That doesn't stop me from being concerned but it does help me to be with God & in the moment rather than having half my mind wandering to where I don't get anything from anything & just end up stressed. One of the hardest things I am working on is living in the moment & stop constant obsessing over both past & future, though the ADD meds do help with that. I hope this has been a much more upbeat talk today & I hope you are all blessed & happy today.