Sunday, July 31, 2011

Thankfulness

Check me out, 2 in one day.
I just started reading 365 Days of Thanking God: Cultivating a Heart of Everyday Thanks by Daniella Whyte. 
As many of you know, I have all kinds of issues. But I am as always trying to work through my insecure mental weirdness. I am unfortunately often a negative person & depressed much of my life, but the real issues comes in that I KNOW it is a false feeling. It is wrong. So rather than beating myself up for being an ungrateful twit, I am in therapy & really have turned to God - though it is too easy to slip out of thinking of Him first. 
An.y.how... Most of the things I need to do, (& not just me, beneficial for just about everyone in one way or another,) start off as forming habits. You get in a habit of something & it eventually will become 2nd nature. So I am starting my thankfulness project. I plan on posting here or on facebook (or if unable to get online, writing in my journal,) ONE thing everyday that I am thankful for & will try not to repeat myself. 
The non-repeating is hard b/c when-ever I think of what I am thankful for there is a whole rush of stuff that ALWAYS comes to my mind...

  1. Rob
  2. my kids
  3. my family
  4. my pets
  5. my home
  6. financial security
  7. the fact that we have all we need
  8. retirement is soon
  9. Rob is with me & not deployed (when applicable)
  10. I am saved through Christ
  11. We have Grace
  12. our health
  13. humor
  14. internet 



and more, but that's the main ones. Would you like to join me in being thankful???

I am back - hopefully regularly

Ok. Ok, ok, ok. I am awful. Horrible. Terrible blogger. I am. Please forgive me. It doesn't mean I don't think about it, but other stuff always seems to get in the way. But you know what? That is ok. It's me. It's life. So let's try again, shall we? & for those of you who stick around & don't give up on me... Thank you & God bless your patient souls.
We got back from Idaho Friday. Rob's dad passed away unexpectedly. It was a horrid reason to go home. But it was so blessed to be there. It had been 15 years since we had been back there as a family. Rob had made it back before we moved to Germany, but not so with the rest of us. (I am fighting serious guilt that I didn't make more of an effort over the years to get us back there regularly one way or another. I can make things like that happen when I really but my mind to it, just didn't make enough effort. But I can't change the past, so just one more thing to add to my list to forgive myself for.)
Anyhow. It was beautiful & Rob has so much family. It's overwhelming, but in a good way. The viewing helped Rob (& I am sure others,) with closure & the service brought some tears & giggles to us, & the over-full chapel blessed the family to no end - showed how loved Ron was & the blessing he had been to others.
I dyed my hair black for the funeral - looks good. I learned a lot from this experience. One thing though. Rob & I have decided to set up as much as possible now, so when our time comes, it is one less thing for the family to have to fuss with as it is overwhelming when you are grieving to have to worry about piddly little things (such as wording of obituaries & making sure everyone is listed who needs to be. Or that they play the short version of Freebird rather than the one that never ends.) I have decided I want Ukulele music at my viewing & everyone to tell funny stories - focus on good. I want a room ringing with laughter. And I am right there with my mom, I think a coffee can is an awesome Urn as I just want my ashes planted with a tree. (Of course I need to wait & make sure they plant me w/ Rob as otherwise I'd just kill that plant as well. (I need Rob to cancel out my plant killing mojo.)
I always felt it was kind of morbid that my Grandma & Mom put so much thought & planning into their future deaths. Now I understand.
Love you guys & have a GREAT day.